by Kirk "Kirk Diggler" Holland
I'm going to keep the fandom going with my own set of journalism (Nah, I really just want to go out and have some drinks) by bringing you "Diaries of a Happy Grizz Fan." Hopefully I can meet people who ARE fans of the team and bring you their perspectives on this team, THEIR team's direction simultaneously as Zac brings you his quest to evangelize the Grizzlies in Memphis.
Simultaneous, like the Saw movies timeline, except we're not killing anyone and we're not horrible.
Coming soon to NoG.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Trapped In The Closet Of Being a Grizz Fan: The Condensed Diaries of A Mad Grizz Fan 1-4.
Seeing as how these things are becoming longer than R Kelly's "Trapped In The Closet" series (or is it his police rapsheet?) I decided to just condense the first four parts into one blog for our readers.
I became so intrigued by my own writings about the subject on noone caring that the Grizzlies were here, I decided to conduct an experiment.
I'm a pretty sociable guy, I talk to everyone I come into contact with without crossing the line into invasion of privacy, so I decided that on my lunch break and shopping excursion out in Memphis I was going to eek the Grizzlies into my conversations with people, just to see what they thought about the subject.
Jesus H, what a long sentence.
I knew that my experiment could not be biased, so I planned my day to be in several parts of town. I would have lunch downtown, since I like being downtown on my off days/no class days, I would shop Cooper-Young and East Memphis (two very different demographics) and then I would head out and pick up the fiance for dinner that night, picking over what I had learned.
With the plan set in motion, I was off to lunch.
I parked in the garage and set off to South Philly. (Quick pet peeve though: Why in the hell do we use tokens to pay for parking now? Seriously, can't I just give you my money?) I stop in there and decide I don't want a sandwich, so I just had a beer instead. ESPN was on the plasma screen and there was a man probably in his 30s craning his neck to watch the screen. I sit at the table next to him so I could see the television. A few minutes and a new beer later, I said "I wish they'd talk about some preseason, I want to see what they are saying about Mayo."
His response: "Yeah, that Mayo kid's something good. Who's he playin for?"
Wha??
I said "Memphis, man! He plays for us! We traded Miller, drafted Love and traded em both with Cardinal to get him, and Jaric...and Walker..."
I trailed off. He legitimately didnt know. To the right of this man in South Philly is a Hello Mayo poster.
I told him how Mayo fired off 26 points the other night in preseason, and how Rudy looks good this year, and by the end of the conversation he said he might try to make it to a game. I felt good. I drank the last of my second beer and headed off to Midtown.
I head to Midtown to do some shopping in Cooper-Young and have a cup of coffee. You've gotta love Cooper-Young. Skaters wearing socks on their arms, and all the counterculture you could ask for. George Carlin would be proud. Talking sports here would surely be fun.
I hadn't had any real lunch yet, just a few brews so I stop at Celtic Crossing to have this gouda cheeseburger. Try it, you'll love it.
That was my George Lapides shameless promotion moment.
The servers at Celtic are the friendliest around, so it is easy to get a conversation started up with them. I turned the conversation to sports and we began talking about how my Cowboys picked up Roy Williams and what that would do for our offense. I then said "Well I'm actually a basketball man myself, and I can't wait for the season to start. I love my Mavs, but Im a Grizz fan first."
Dude laughed. LAUGHED.
Then silence.
Like I had just told a big Jesus joke in Bethlehem.
He thought he had hurt my feelings so he was like "Uh, I don't really think theyre going to be that good this year, but man good for you if you can support a team that doesnt win a lot."
Thanks.
I just smiled and said "Well thats what being a fan is all about...Hell, I was a Mavs fan back in the days of Ced Ceballos and Reunion Arena, so I can tolerate grisly Grizzlies."
I asked him if he had ever been to a game and he said he had not. "They'd just lose," he said. "It'd be a waste of money."
Yikes. Why do so many in the city feel this way? A sporting event is a sporting event! It's fun to cheer and get into the game, and if you lose, so what?? You screamed, you drank some beer, you high-fived when they tried to make a comeback, you had fun! A waste of money, no sir.
We alternated the conversation back and forth from basketball to football, to music. Now there is something I can talk about for hours.
I inhaled my cheeseburger and decided to head to East Memphis. Ah, the "elite" of Memphis. The people who buy the season tickets and would at least go to the game for the social aspect, right?
I continued my off day-slash-experiment by trekking into East Memphis to do some shopping. I couldn't wait to discuss the Grizzlies with people here. These were the people who would go to the games just for the social aspect and to see and be seen...The people who have the season tickets and whos companies have the season tickets and skyboxes. Surely there are the most passionate of passionate Grizz fans to be found here!
Errr....Not really. I found one. The other 3 people I talked to weren't that big on the team. One even wished we had a football team instead.
The first person I met was in Macys at Oak Court. I needed some shoes, so I wanted to find a pair of Lacoste tennis shoes. Dude hooked me up with an all-white pair...nice. He started askin me if I played a sport and I said "Nah, these are just for jogging and shit like that." I told him I couldnt play basketball worth a lick but I enjoy watching it, and that I was a big Grizz fan. This apparently makes people stop in their tracks and ask you why.
"They suck bro...I wouldnt go if they paid me."
I go...and I pay them.
"Well why not man? Basketball is basketball...ya know?"
"Yea, but I like good basketball."
"Mayo and Rudy are pretty good man...you oughta give em a chance."
"Eh, they just gonna leave in a few years cuz noone goes to see em."
Well, with that attitude, yeah. But that someone who doesnt go to see them is you! Cmon man...
I thanked him for the shoes and went about my business. I headed over to Laurelwood and did "Good Man Duty" for the Mrs. and found her christmas present at Joseph. Ladies, respect my prowess. I love my woman AND I can put up with stuck-up snobbery to get my lady what she wants. Oddly enough, the salesperson ASKED me if I was going to the game against Houston because Joey Dorsey was coming back to town.
Since when was Dorsey a marquee player?
I told her that no, I wasn't going to the game but that I was a huge fan of the Grizz so I'd be seeing Dorsey during the regular season when I had tix and time. She goes on to say that she's not a Grizz fan per say, but she couldn't wait to see Dorsey tonight.
Great. Another "fan" not wearing blue and yellow and white in the Forum. Oh well.
I leave, wondering if I was going to ever meet a professional sports fan in this city....and I did.
Trouble was, he was a Titans fan, lamenting the fact that Nashville got them and we didn't get to keep them. I guess he was one of the hundreds sitting in the Liberty Bowl watching the Tennessee Oilers. What was the reason for them not going to those games? Oh yeah, they're just going to leave anyway. That's right.
He launches into why professional basketball would never work in this city, and why Nashville should have gotten the NBA franchise and we should have the NFL. It's more expensive per game, he said, but there are less games. Less games for people to go to when they werent winning, or when the team had one commercial per year perhaps. Basketball wouldnt work in this city? Tell that to the Tigers.
This experiment wasn't working out as I had hoped, but it was going all according to what I thought it would be. This city just doesn't seem to care. Alas, a glimmer of hope....A guy about my age comes up to me at The Grove and sits down and has a beer. ESPN is on. Gotta love bars and bar areas. Always a good sports crowd. They were talking about Elton Brand's potential impact on the 76ers and I said "Let me guess, youre not a basketball fan either."
"Nah, not really."
I knew it.
"I do like the Grizz though. I think they could get me into this stuff."
Hooray! I found one. This guy lamented the fact that noone seemed to care, and was going to be at the preseason game not to watch Dorsey, but the GRIZZ!
I told the guy what I had done today and I said "I know its a bit strange, but I just wanted to see if anyone cared that there was a team here."
The young gentleman, close to my age and I kept talking about the Grizzlies.
Yes, that guy. The ONE I have found so far who could hopefully be coaxed into the Grizz fold.
I asked this guy why exactly he was having to be coaxed...Why cant you just get a 5 dollar seat and see what happens. If you want a better view to enhance your time spent, then take the plunge, spend a bit more, yell until your hearts content (just don't do the Soulja Boy dance) and see what happens then.
**Due to the fact that upon hearing the length of his answer, I immediately said I would like to quote him verbatim. I needed his number since I was sans tape recorder, so now that I am over the shock and disgust of actually recieving a man's number at a bar, I will relay his answer to you via a telephone call**
"See Zac, the reason is simple. I've never been introduced to them. You might think that its stupid, or fucking lame, but I can't get behind something I know nothing about other than tickets are on sale now. Who are these guys? I know who Mayo is because I love college hoops, and I hear Rudy is pretty good. Why should I care? Before I take the plunge, I need to know whats going to be there before I go plunging off, ya know?
Another thing, since Im just getting shit off my chest to ya, is I like what youre trying to do with these blogs. It's like some public awareness type of shit and I can dig it. But Im sure a lot of people feel this way. They have no connection because yeah, maybe they havent tried, but some of these people who are fans of basketball didnt ask the team to come here. They were fine without one. We kind of fans like that dont have to do anything. The team has to make us feel like they want to be here and have us be a part of it, because people like that are indifferent one way or another. I guess apathetic would be a good word.Let me see some marketing. Let me see them try. Then I'll try. Then I'll market the team by being a fan, and buying up tickets and shirts and all types of shit."
I want his answer to be the last thing that you really read and remember out of this. I'd like to know what the readers think, of this whole blog or if you just catch this series. Im hoping for a flood of comments, perhaps even a friendly-spirited debate between the fans that read this. What can we do to win these people over? What is right or wrong with his statements? I spoke about the listless marketing that I believe this team and city as a whole has in another blog on this site but I think he raises some new and good discussion points. Dig in, Grizz fans.In the coming weeks, there will be new (thanks to demand) installments of Diary of A Mad Grizz Fan. Bartlett, Raleigh, Collierville, Southaven and South Memphis are up next. Who knows...maybe I will be talking to you.
I became so intrigued by my own writings about the subject on noone caring that the Grizzlies were here, I decided to conduct an experiment.
I'm a pretty sociable guy, I talk to everyone I come into contact with without crossing the line into invasion of privacy, so I decided that on my lunch break and shopping excursion out in Memphis I was going to eek the Grizzlies into my conversations with people, just to see what they thought about the subject.
Jesus H, what a long sentence.
I knew that my experiment could not be biased, so I planned my day to be in several parts of town. I would have lunch downtown, since I like being downtown on my off days/no class days, I would shop Cooper-Young and East Memphis (two very different demographics) and then I would head out and pick up the fiance for dinner that night, picking over what I had learned.
With the plan set in motion, I was off to lunch.
I parked in the garage and set off to South Philly. (Quick pet peeve though: Why in the hell do we use tokens to pay for parking now? Seriously, can't I just give you my money?) I stop in there and decide I don't want a sandwich, so I just had a beer instead. ESPN was on the plasma screen and there was a man probably in his 30s craning his neck to watch the screen. I sit at the table next to him so I could see the television. A few minutes and a new beer later, I said "I wish they'd talk about some preseason, I want to see what they are saying about Mayo."
His response: "Yeah, that Mayo kid's something good. Who's he playin for?"
Wha??
I said "Memphis, man! He plays for us! We traded Miller, drafted Love and traded em both with Cardinal to get him, and Jaric...and Walker..."
I trailed off. He legitimately didnt know. To the right of this man in South Philly is a Hello Mayo poster.
I told him how Mayo fired off 26 points the other night in preseason, and how Rudy looks good this year, and by the end of the conversation he said he might try to make it to a game. I felt good. I drank the last of my second beer and headed off to Midtown.
I head to Midtown to do some shopping in Cooper-Young and have a cup of coffee. You've gotta love Cooper-Young. Skaters wearing socks on their arms, and all the counterculture you could ask for. George Carlin would be proud. Talking sports here would surely be fun.
I hadn't had any real lunch yet, just a few brews so I stop at Celtic Crossing to have this gouda cheeseburger. Try it, you'll love it.
That was my George Lapides shameless promotion moment.
The servers at Celtic are the friendliest around, so it is easy to get a conversation started up with them. I turned the conversation to sports and we began talking about how my Cowboys picked up Roy Williams and what that would do for our offense. I then said "Well I'm actually a basketball man myself, and I can't wait for the season to start. I love my Mavs, but Im a Grizz fan first."
Dude laughed. LAUGHED.
Then silence.
Like I had just told a big Jesus joke in Bethlehem.
He thought he had hurt my feelings so he was like "Uh, I don't really think theyre going to be that good this year, but man good for you if you can support a team that doesnt win a lot."
Thanks.
I just smiled and said "Well thats what being a fan is all about...Hell, I was a Mavs fan back in the days of Ced Ceballos and Reunion Arena, so I can tolerate grisly Grizzlies."
I asked him if he had ever been to a game and he said he had not. "They'd just lose," he said. "It'd be a waste of money."
Yikes. Why do so many in the city feel this way? A sporting event is a sporting event! It's fun to cheer and get into the game, and if you lose, so what?? You screamed, you drank some beer, you high-fived when they tried to make a comeback, you had fun! A waste of money, no sir.
We alternated the conversation back and forth from basketball to football, to music. Now there is something I can talk about for hours.
I inhaled my cheeseburger and decided to head to East Memphis. Ah, the "elite" of Memphis. The people who buy the season tickets and would at least go to the game for the social aspect, right?
I continued my off day-slash-experiment by trekking into East Memphis to do some shopping. I couldn't wait to discuss the Grizzlies with people here. These were the people who would go to the games just for the social aspect and to see and be seen...The people who have the season tickets and whos companies have the season tickets and skyboxes. Surely there are the most passionate of passionate Grizz fans to be found here!
Errr....Not really. I found one. The other 3 people I talked to weren't that big on the team. One even wished we had a football team instead.
The first person I met was in Macys at Oak Court. I needed some shoes, so I wanted to find a pair of Lacoste tennis shoes. Dude hooked me up with an all-white pair...nice. He started askin me if I played a sport and I said "Nah, these are just for jogging and shit like that." I told him I couldnt play basketball worth a lick but I enjoy watching it, and that I was a big Grizz fan. This apparently makes people stop in their tracks and ask you why.
"They suck bro...I wouldnt go if they paid me."
I go...and I pay them.
"Well why not man? Basketball is basketball...ya know?"
"Yea, but I like good basketball."
"Mayo and Rudy are pretty good man...you oughta give em a chance."
"Eh, they just gonna leave in a few years cuz noone goes to see em."
Well, with that attitude, yeah. But that someone who doesnt go to see them is you! Cmon man...
I thanked him for the shoes and went about my business. I headed over to Laurelwood and did "Good Man Duty" for the Mrs. and found her christmas present at Joseph. Ladies, respect my prowess. I love my woman AND I can put up with stuck-up snobbery to get my lady what she wants. Oddly enough, the salesperson ASKED me if I was going to the game against Houston because Joey Dorsey was coming back to town.
Since when was Dorsey a marquee player?
I told her that no, I wasn't going to the game but that I was a huge fan of the Grizz so I'd be seeing Dorsey during the regular season when I had tix and time. She goes on to say that she's not a Grizz fan per say, but she couldn't wait to see Dorsey tonight.
Great. Another "fan" not wearing blue and yellow and white in the Forum. Oh well.
I leave, wondering if I was going to ever meet a professional sports fan in this city....and I did.
Trouble was, he was a Titans fan, lamenting the fact that Nashville got them and we didn't get to keep them. I guess he was one of the hundreds sitting in the Liberty Bowl watching the Tennessee Oilers. What was the reason for them not going to those games? Oh yeah, they're just going to leave anyway. That's right.
He launches into why professional basketball would never work in this city, and why Nashville should have gotten the NBA franchise and we should have the NFL. It's more expensive per game, he said, but there are less games. Less games for people to go to when they werent winning, or when the team had one commercial per year perhaps. Basketball wouldnt work in this city? Tell that to the Tigers.
This experiment wasn't working out as I had hoped, but it was going all according to what I thought it would be. This city just doesn't seem to care. Alas, a glimmer of hope....A guy about my age comes up to me at The Grove and sits down and has a beer. ESPN is on. Gotta love bars and bar areas. Always a good sports crowd. They were talking about Elton Brand's potential impact on the 76ers and I said "Let me guess, youre not a basketball fan either."
"Nah, not really."
I knew it.
"I do like the Grizz though. I think they could get me into this stuff."
Hooray! I found one. This guy lamented the fact that noone seemed to care, and was going to be at the preseason game not to watch Dorsey, but the GRIZZ!
I told the guy what I had done today and I said "I know its a bit strange, but I just wanted to see if anyone cared that there was a team here."
The young gentleman, close to my age and I kept talking about the Grizzlies.
Yes, that guy. The ONE I have found so far who could hopefully be coaxed into the Grizz fold.
I asked this guy why exactly he was having to be coaxed...Why cant you just get a 5 dollar seat and see what happens. If you want a better view to enhance your time spent, then take the plunge, spend a bit more, yell until your hearts content (just don't do the Soulja Boy dance) and see what happens then.
**Due to the fact that upon hearing the length of his answer, I immediately said I would like to quote him verbatim. I needed his number since I was sans tape recorder, so now that I am over the shock and disgust of actually recieving a man's number at a bar, I will relay his answer to you via a telephone call**
"See Zac, the reason is simple. I've never been introduced to them. You might think that its stupid, or fucking lame, but I can't get behind something I know nothing about other than tickets are on sale now. Who are these guys? I know who Mayo is because I love college hoops, and I hear Rudy is pretty good. Why should I care? Before I take the plunge, I need to know whats going to be there before I go plunging off, ya know?
Another thing, since Im just getting shit off my chest to ya, is I like what youre trying to do with these blogs. It's like some public awareness type of shit and I can dig it. But Im sure a lot of people feel this way. They have no connection because yeah, maybe they havent tried, but some of these people who are fans of basketball didnt ask the team to come here. They were fine without one. We kind of fans like that dont have to do anything. The team has to make us feel like they want to be here and have us be a part of it, because people like that are indifferent one way or another. I guess apathetic would be a good word.Let me see some marketing. Let me see them try. Then I'll try. Then I'll market the team by being a fan, and buying up tickets and shirts and all types of shit."
I want his answer to be the last thing that you really read and remember out of this. I'd like to know what the readers think, of this whole blog or if you just catch this series. Im hoping for a flood of comments, perhaps even a friendly-spirited debate between the fans that read this. What can we do to win these people over? What is right or wrong with his statements? I spoke about the listless marketing that I believe this team and city as a whole has in another blog on this site but I think he raises some new and good discussion points. Dig in, Grizz fans.In the coming weeks, there will be new (thanks to demand) installments of Diary of A Mad Grizz Fan. Bartlett, Raleigh, Collierville, Southaven and South Memphis are up next. Who knows...maybe I will be talking to you.
There's A Tear In My Bear...
by Zac "I,rreverent" Carpenter
Our older readers will appreciate the Hank Williams Sr. reference.
I was going to call this "Tears of a Clown," but Geoff Calkins is no clown. He is a good sports writer, and an enthusiastic writer with a wry sense of humor.
That being said...I take issue with this article.
I know, I know. It's from Oct 9. Get with the program, Zac.
The truth is, I am slowly getting back into Grizz news. After taking a vacation with the fiance down to Miami where I *looks around for the government* partook in an illegal cigar despite Cuban embargos, and had too many drinks at Trader Vic's, this was the story that caught my attention.
Meet New Grizz, Same as Old Grizz.
Really? We wear putrid uniforms, start a revolving door of WTF cares players like Batiste, Archibald, Chris Owens and Ike Austin, and our coach has a shinier dome than the Hubert H. Humphrey in Minny?
Nah...They aren't the same old Grizz players. The same old Grizz marketing mentality and the same old Memphis is more like it.
For an article that claims its optimism by saying that the way to look at FedEx Forum on that night as 1/16th filled, this article is not very optimistic. However, he goes on to basically give statements that show why the arena was not very full on that night. The caliber of players, it was a middle of the work week game, etc. The article closes with the statement "All they (fans) need is the team."Geoff, my friend, we have a team. A much improved one. You're exactly right that noone seems to notice or care. You are also right when you say the city feels alienated from the team. However the tone of your article makes it seem like its the players' problem. It is not. We have more talent, and I will tell you why they are not noticing.
Marketing.
Marketing has been the achilles heel for the Grizzlies ever since they got here. They didn't feel the need to market because it was new and fresh. When that wore off, we had the new arena smell to market the team. Then, it was 3 playoff appearances and 3 straight sweeps in the first round with no wins. There has never been a long standing effort to connect the team to the city other than the great, and I mean great work they do with St. Jude Children's Hospital. When are the talking heads going to realize that 2 panels on MATA buses and a couple of billboards just don't cut it?
Advertising has been a long-standing problem in this city, as long as I have lived here. Unless you see the one billboard (which seems to be the solution in this city, one billboard will do it) for Mednikow or Laurelwood, you will not know where it is, or what is there unless you are a longtime resident. Another fun fact about that: The billboards are located in the part of town Laurelwood is in, the area where yes most of their customers come from, but already know it is there. How about one in Germantown, or Collierville, or downtown? Settling for the status quo will surely win you that area, but how about expansion? The only thing bigger than the usual base is a bigger one. Local real estate experts in the city talk up the South Main district as a burgeoning retail and residential option to be in the city. How many people know that its there due to advertisements? Not everyone reads RSVP magazine, or the Downtowner. They shouldn't have to. It should be advertised. Seemingly, they are happy with the slow growth they get from word of mouth. Speeding up the process by advertising doesn't seem to register. When I was in Miami this week, there was a billboard on every building that they had condominiums for rent or for lease or even sale. True enough, this is most likely due to desperation of moving units in the midst of a home crisis, but the advertising worked. Without fail, people would see the signs on the building, and stop in the sales office. Even I did, because if my condo in Destin doesn't work out, Miami is always a viable option, sans the nose candy trafficking. There were also billboards for the Heat. The Heat, who went 15-67 and had an empty arena on most nights with a legitimate NBA champion star Dwayne Wade. Billboards. Commercials on the television channels. The news media talked them up, talked up Beasley. There were advertisements for public appearances by the players on the daily! This is how you connect with a city. You do all of these things and you do them with frequency.
The block parties are a good start. However, when something has low attendance, the consensus of the marketing department seems to be "Well that didnt work so we shouldnt do it anymore." FALSE. It's working. What doesnt work is for it to be so erratic. You do it once, you dont do it again...thats what creates discord and a sense of ineptitude and not caring about the city and fans. You keep it up, and the numbers will go up eventually.
I'll give you another example.
One Beale is a now-defunct condominium/luxury hotel project that was to be situated on a great piece of real estate on Beale St right by the trolley tracks and pedestrian bridge. If the visual isnt working for you, right across from Waterford Plaza. If you dont know what that is, well, it probably isnt properly advertised. Ba-zing. I digress.
One Beale was the most ambitious residential proposal that came to fruition since I have lived here in Memphis. The sales office operated out of the old Landry's right there on...I believe it is Wagner Place. This was to be a beautiful sight. Expensive luxury condominiums with river and city views, a Hyatt hotel, a spa, and a chef-driven restaurant. No advertisement except for a billboard right above where said property was to be located, a website with renderings, and the occasional one to two page spread in RSVP magazine which was nothing more than what you could see on the website. This was Memphis' legitimacy in the condo market. This was big. Why was this not pushed as a possible destination for retirees in the entire Mid-South market, or America as a whole? To Elvis fanatics and music lovers alike, Memphis IS a viable tourist market, and a place you could plunk down cash for a second home. The project was said to fail due to "a slowing and shrinking market and decreasing demand." The fact is, the project would be in construction today if they had sold enough units to justify starting construction so the building wouldnt be sitting empty. Proper advertising would have made that happen.
Notice the correlation.
Bringing the Grizzlies to Memphis was the most ambitious proposal Ive ever heard of since I have been in Memphis. It was going to be a beautiful sight. Luxury suite boxes, hotels around the corner of the arena, and a private restaurant for game-goers. There is no advertisement sans a few transit buses and a few billboards, but nothing to generate much excitement and especially foster a closeness with the town. Oh, but there was a website with information and the occasional one to two page spread telling you things you already could find on the website. This was Memphis' legitimacy in the sports market. This was big. Why was this, and is this not pushed as a big night out, a great night out on the town, the only professional sports franchise in Memphis? Why is this not the focal point of this city along with college athletics? People say the two cannot co-exist but thats only because one is marketed and the other is not, and yes, winning speaks for itself, I understand that. This project is being said to be failing due to decreasing demand and a dwindling market. The fact is, if they had marketed this thing right from the get-go they wouldnt be saying "Well it doesnt work now if we try" because if done correctly, the whole building wouldn't be sitting empty.
Proper advertising is what will make that happen.
It's not the team, Geoff. It isn't even the fans to a certain degree. The fans have nothing to pull them back in because the team's management wont throw them a line.
Our older readers will appreciate the Hank Williams Sr. reference.
I was going to call this "Tears of a Clown," but Geoff Calkins is no clown. He is a good sports writer, and an enthusiastic writer with a wry sense of humor.
That being said...I take issue with this article.
I know, I know. It's from Oct 9. Get with the program, Zac.
The truth is, I am slowly getting back into Grizz news. After taking a vacation with the fiance down to Miami where I *looks around for the government* partook in an illegal cigar despite Cuban embargos, and had too many drinks at Trader Vic's, this was the story that caught my attention.
Meet New Grizz, Same as Old Grizz.
Really? We wear putrid uniforms, start a revolving door of WTF cares players like Batiste, Archibald, Chris Owens and Ike Austin, and our coach has a shinier dome than the Hubert H. Humphrey in Minny?
Nah...They aren't the same old Grizz players. The same old Grizz marketing mentality and the same old Memphis is more like it.
For an article that claims its optimism by saying that the way to look at FedEx Forum on that night as 1/16th filled, this article is not very optimistic. However, he goes on to basically give statements that show why the arena was not very full on that night. The caliber of players, it was a middle of the work week game, etc. The article closes with the statement "All they (fans) need is the team."Geoff, my friend, we have a team. A much improved one. You're exactly right that noone seems to notice or care. You are also right when you say the city feels alienated from the team. However the tone of your article makes it seem like its the players' problem. It is not. We have more talent, and I will tell you why they are not noticing.
Marketing.
Marketing has been the achilles heel for the Grizzlies ever since they got here. They didn't feel the need to market because it was new and fresh. When that wore off, we had the new arena smell to market the team. Then, it was 3 playoff appearances and 3 straight sweeps in the first round with no wins. There has never been a long standing effort to connect the team to the city other than the great, and I mean great work they do with St. Jude Children's Hospital. When are the talking heads going to realize that 2 panels on MATA buses and a couple of billboards just don't cut it?
Advertising has been a long-standing problem in this city, as long as I have lived here. Unless you see the one billboard (which seems to be the solution in this city, one billboard will do it) for Mednikow or Laurelwood, you will not know where it is, or what is there unless you are a longtime resident. Another fun fact about that: The billboards are located in the part of town Laurelwood is in, the area where yes most of their customers come from, but already know it is there. How about one in Germantown, or Collierville, or downtown? Settling for the status quo will surely win you that area, but how about expansion? The only thing bigger than the usual base is a bigger one. Local real estate experts in the city talk up the South Main district as a burgeoning retail and residential option to be in the city. How many people know that its there due to advertisements? Not everyone reads RSVP magazine, or the Downtowner. They shouldn't have to. It should be advertised. Seemingly, they are happy with the slow growth they get from word of mouth. Speeding up the process by advertising doesn't seem to register. When I was in Miami this week, there was a billboard on every building that they had condominiums for rent or for lease or even sale. True enough, this is most likely due to desperation of moving units in the midst of a home crisis, but the advertising worked. Without fail, people would see the signs on the building, and stop in the sales office. Even I did, because if my condo in Destin doesn't work out, Miami is always a viable option, sans the nose candy trafficking. There were also billboards for the Heat. The Heat, who went 15-67 and had an empty arena on most nights with a legitimate NBA champion star Dwayne Wade. Billboards. Commercials on the television channels. The news media talked them up, talked up Beasley. There were advertisements for public appearances by the players on the daily! This is how you connect with a city. You do all of these things and you do them with frequency.
The block parties are a good start. However, when something has low attendance, the consensus of the marketing department seems to be "Well that didnt work so we shouldnt do it anymore." FALSE. It's working. What doesnt work is for it to be so erratic. You do it once, you dont do it again...thats what creates discord and a sense of ineptitude and not caring about the city and fans. You keep it up, and the numbers will go up eventually.
I'll give you another example.
One Beale is a now-defunct condominium/luxury hotel project that was to be situated on a great piece of real estate on Beale St right by the trolley tracks and pedestrian bridge. If the visual isnt working for you, right across from Waterford Plaza. If you dont know what that is, well, it probably isnt properly advertised. Ba-zing. I digress.
One Beale was the most ambitious residential proposal that came to fruition since I have lived here in Memphis. The sales office operated out of the old Landry's right there on...I believe it is Wagner Place. This was to be a beautiful sight. Expensive luxury condominiums with river and city views, a Hyatt hotel, a spa, and a chef-driven restaurant. No advertisement except for a billboard right above where said property was to be located, a website with renderings, and the occasional one to two page spread in RSVP magazine which was nothing more than what you could see on the website. This was Memphis' legitimacy in the condo market. This was big. Why was this not pushed as a possible destination for retirees in the entire Mid-South market, or America as a whole? To Elvis fanatics and music lovers alike, Memphis IS a viable tourist market, and a place you could plunk down cash for a second home. The project was said to fail due to "a slowing and shrinking market and decreasing demand." The fact is, the project would be in construction today if they had sold enough units to justify starting construction so the building wouldnt be sitting empty. Proper advertising would have made that happen.
Notice the correlation.
Bringing the Grizzlies to Memphis was the most ambitious proposal Ive ever heard of since I have been in Memphis. It was going to be a beautiful sight. Luxury suite boxes, hotels around the corner of the arena, and a private restaurant for game-goers. There is no advertisement sans a few transit buses and a few billboards, but nothing to generate much excitement and especially foster a closeness with the town. Oh, but there was a website with information and the occasional one to two page spread telling you things you already could find on the website. This was Memphis' legitimacy in the sports market. This was big. Why was this, and is this not pushed as a big night out, a great night out on the town, the only professional sports franchise in Memphis? Why is this not the focal point of this city along with college athletics? People say the two cannot co-exist but thats only because one is marketed and the other is not, and yes, winning speaks for itself, I understand that. This project is being said to be failing due to decreasing demand and a dwindling market. The fact is, if they had marketed this thing right from the get-go they wouldnt be saying "Well it doesnt work now if we try" because if done correctly, the whole building wouldn't be sitting empty.
Proper advertising is what will make that happen.
It's not the team, Geoff. It isn't even the fans to a certain degree. The fans have nothing to pull them back in because the team's management wont throw them a line.
The Weapon of Mass Box Office Destruction...
by Zac "I,rreverent" Carpenter
....Might just be Hamed Haddadi.
That's right. To the fiery depths with Josh Smith, Elton Brand, Amare Stoudamire or Carlos Boozer. No disrespect to Kevin Garnett intended, but the "Big Ticket" might be Hamed Haddadi, as far as Memphis is concerned.
A survey/census shown on City-Data.com reports that there are 245 Iranians in the city limits of Memphis. The category "Other Arabs" equates to 202. These numbers may or may not have to be adjusted for population growth/decrease, but let's just use for my lack of mathematical skills an even number of 400 possible new fans in Memphis alone, and 70.5 MILLION back home in Iran. We will need a clever name to call this possibility, so let us use "The Yao Ming Effect."
Let me begin by saying I am not comparing Memphis' market to Houston. Houston is a bigger, more cosmopolitan city in a bigger, more cosmopolitan state. Houston also has a more significant population, and a larger ethnic enclave as it relates to their foreign star. However, the size difference does not neccessarily mean that there will not be the same effect. When Houston drafted Yao Ming, as they were one of the teams Yao preferred to go to due to their sizeable ethnic population, Houston immediately felt the impact. Endorsements here and in China came flooding in, and people wanted to tune in to Rockets games to see this player. Houston games were being broadcast in China just as regularly as we get to see Kobe vs Shaq on Christmas Day. Yao has made the All-Star team by having hundreds of thousands upon more hundreds of thousands of votes, due to support in the US and his team's fans for sure, but it was the other side of the world making a difference. The NBA is big in China now because of this, and now we are seeing more Chinese/regional players trying to make it in the NBA. (Sun Yue, Ha-Seung Jin, etc.)
Wouldn't that be great for the Grizzlies? In no way am I saying that Haddadi will be Yao Ming's equal or better (although I hope noone crosses up Haddadi like this or Haddadi can at least get a shot off against a midget. ) However, what I am saying is we can expand our market, seeing as how right now we're having difficulties expanding our market out to Desoto, Crittenton, Tipton, Fayette, Madison County and the like. We will have an entire country, along with Spain for Marc Gasol, and Serbia for Darko Milicic joining the Grizzly market. It may very well be the Grizzlies turn to lead the NBA into global expansion, and Haddadi will lead the way for players in his home country to come to the NBA. I think it would be a feather in the Grizzlies cap.
Let's close by talking about the ticket sales. Let's be frank. I highly doubt people from Iran are going to fly to Memphis to go to a game. Buying merchandise on NBA.com, yes. Spreading the word, yes. Flying into Memphis? Not so much. We do not have a large Iranian population, but with ticket sales they way they are rumored to be, 400 new season ticket holders, or 400 more people as a television audience could go a long way into either filling up the Forum and getting more people to come to games because it looks more full and fun, or it could justify the televising of more games due to higher demand. Either or would be great, although I'd prefer the first. Finally, without getting sappy or too political, I think it would be great for the city to have such diversity at the games. Everyone of any race and age could be in the same place, even for just 2 and a half hours, and share something together, even for that one moment....they're all on the same team...which is how it should be.
....Might just be Hamed Haddadi.
That's right. To the fiery depths with Josh Smith, Elton Brand, Amare Stoudamire or Carlos Boozer. No disrespect to Kevin Garnett intended, but the "Big Ticket" might be Hamed Haddadi, as far as Memphis is concerned.
A survey/census shown on City-Data.com reports that there are 245 Iranians in the city limits of Memphis. The category "Other Arabs" equates to 202. These numbers may or may not have to be adjusted for population growth/decrease, but let's just use for my lack of mathematical skills an even number of 400 possible new fans in Memphis alone, and 70.5 MILLION back home in Iran. We will need a clever name to call this possibility, so let us use "The Yao Ming Effect."
Let me begin by saying I am not comparing Memphis' market to Houston. Houston is a bigger, more cosmopolitan city in a bigger, more cosmopolitan state. Houston also has a more significant population, and a larger ethnic enclave as it relates to their foreign star. However, the size difference does not neccessarily mean that there will not be the same effect. When Houston drafted Yao Ming, as they were one of the teams Yao preferred to go to due to their sizeable ethnic population, Houston immediately felt the impact. Endorsements here and in China came flooding in, and people wanted to tune in to Rockets games to see this player. Houston games were being broadcast in China just as regularly as we get to see Kobe vs Shaq on Christmas Day. Yao has made the All-Star team by having hundreds of thousands upon more hundreds of thousands of votes, due to support in the US and his team's fans for sure, but it was the other side of the world making a difference. The NBA is big in China now because of this, and now we are seeing more Chinese/regional players trying to make it in the NBA. (Sun Yue, Ha-Seung Jin, etc.)
Wouldn't that be great for the Grizzlies? In no way am I saying that Haddadi will be Yao Ming's equal or better (although I hope noone crosses up Haddadi like this or Haddadi can at least get a shot off against a midget. ) However, what I am saying is we can expand our market, seeing as how right now we're having difficulties expanding our market out to Desoto, Crittenton, Tipton, Fayette, Madison County and the like. We will have an entire country, along with Spain for Marc Gasol, and Serbia for Darko Milicic joining the Grizzly market. It may very well be the Grizzlies turn to lead the NBA into global expansion, and Haddadi will lead the way for players in his home country to come to the NBA. I think it would be a feather in the Grizzlies cap.
Let's close by talking about the ticket sales. Let's be frank. I highly doubt people from Iran are going to fly to Memphis to go to a game. Buying merchandise on NBA.com, yes. Spreading the word, yes. Flying into Memphis? Not so much. We do not have a large Iranian population, but with ticket sales they way they are rumored to be, 400 new season ticket holders, or 400 more people as a television audience could go a long way into either filling up the Forum and getting more people to come to games because it looks more full and fun, or it could justify the televising of more games due to higher demand. Either or would be great, although I'd prefer the first. Finally, without getting sappy or too political, I think it would be great for the city to have such diversity at the games. Everyone of any race and age could be in the same place, even for just 2 and a half hours, and share something together, even for that one moment....they're all on the same team...which is how it should be.
The F-Word.
by Zac "I,rreverent" Carpenter
I was going to call this blog "Someone Should Tell Adriana Lima We Have Naked Gameday At The Forum." Now of course...that was merely a suggestion to Ms. Lima.What I would like to talk about, is this debilitating, dangerous disease that seems to spread more and more the more games we lose. It is so debilitating, it makes our chart at the office look bad. You know, the chart that shows attendance, our arena noise...basically, the chart that shows how good our fans are...No, not the FOXNews-esque doomsday delight Commercial Appeal! It's the fans!
"Wait...Zac, the fans are the problem??"
YES! The fans are the problem.
However, the problem is two-fold.
Problem A is the people who come to the games who root for the other team. Nothing burns me up than seeing a yellow Lakers jersey, or someone whooping it up for Detroit, or shouting out to Melo and AI at the Forum. I wouldn't have a problem with Laker fans at the Forum if the Forum was the Great Western Forum and this was Showtime, but it isn't. We might be a crumbling industy sector and a largely minority-majority city, but we aren't in Detroit either. Our arena announcer doesn't have a stuttering problem. Lastly, do you see any mountains? This is not Denver either.
Most of this is said in jest. As an avid sports fan, nothing and let me REPEAT nothing really builds up a good game atmosphere than trash talk from fans of one team to the other. Of course, that's always best for the postseason, when the emotions are heightened. It just is an annoyance that a lot of fans especially at certain games aren't even at the Forum for the HOME TEAM...but the reason they stand out so much is because of problem B.
Problem B is the fans of the Grizzlies that we do have. There simply is not enough. When your arena looks like 9500 people showed up in plainclothes and the rest came disguised as empty blue chairs, even the loudest, truest Chris Farley Chicago Superfan-esque fan performance is not going to drown out the cheers from the fans that are there to support the other side. Where are the people? When I was writing for the first incarnate of Nation of Grizzlam, I wrote a blog detailing why Memphis fans felt like they didn't get respect from the media and it dealt with SMS, or "Small Market Syndrome." (Some may remember it, I may have to do it again.) While doing the research for said blog, I delivered statistics (begrudgingly, because I hate crunching any sort of numbers) of populations for every NBA market city and metropolitan area. Memphis was not even the smallest market, at roughly 1.25 million metro, adjusting for another year in census, not counting what I believe to be part of the metro area, DeSoto County. You mean to tell me that a little over 1 percent of that can't fill up a basketball stadium? Really? I know we are a college town, but face it folks, so is every other NBA market. This is the first REAL professional team this city has ever had. Noone had better comment about the MadDogs or Pharoahs, and no disrespect but the Riverkings and Redbirds are not major league caliber either. That alone should get fans in the seats. Be grateful to even have a team. I'm sure Seattle would love to have theirs back, and they had more fan support than we have had in our best year.
"Basketball games are too expensive to have as many as we do in a season. Most Memphians would be better suited for an NFL season. Expensive, but less games to go to."
Right. The Oilers sure got a lot of support while they were here. Of course, the excuse was that we knew they were leaving anyway, so why support them. It seems with a lot of people that they feel the same way about the Grizzlies. They'll leave, so why support them? That way, when they leave due to lack of support from fans like you, you will be right. Ah, sweet vindication. An NFL team in Memphis? If basketball (Professional basketball, in a self-professed "Basketball Town") can't be supported with 18,000 people, how do you tell me that 65,000+ would be? Maybe I should ask the Tigers how they like playing in front of a packed stadium for football games.
Wait...It's because they don't win right? Ah, The Golden Rule of Fandom. If they win, they will be loved and admired and paid attention to. You've got me there. The Grizzlies don't win. However, even when they did, they didn't win enough. So the support...went down the drain. Fans have every right to be dissapointed. Dissapointment is great! It means you have pride in your team and you want them to do well. I'd be more worried if people were indifferent, but people are dissapointed! Hooray! It means you care!
So why don't you care that your team, win or lose, looks pathetic when they play in front of an arena full of...empty chairs? It's silent when the home team scores at home and louder when the away team makes a basket? You want to root for the stars? Show up to the games, and be loud for your home team. Homecourt advantage = proven advantage. Build up the young guys' confidence, build up the win column. Make it look like a fun place to play and a fun place to go to. Word among fans will spread. Make it look like a loud and tough place to play, and word will spread around the L. Your team will be feared, and in free agency, dare I say revered. Players will want to come here. You will have built up your players into stars, and attract stars for you to clap for, if thats what it takes. Clap for Rudy. Clap for Mayo. Clap for Conley. Soon, who knows who you will be on your feet for in the starting lineups. Just make sure to keep the energy going, and drown out those people cheering for the other team...
Donations to the DOUCHE (Drown Out Ugly Crowd Heckling Experiment) can be made in payments of 5, 18, 37, 38, 40, 47, 48, 49, 62, 82, 99, 107, 150, 227, 307, 387, 546 & 667 dollars. All donations to DOUCHE should be made at the FedEx Forum box office on Gamedays.
I was going to call this blog "Someone Should Tell Adriana Lima We Have Naked Gameday At The Forum." Now of course...that was merely a suggestion to Ms. Lima.What I would like to talk about, is this debilitating, dangerous disease that seems to spread more and more the more games we lose. It is so debilitating, it makes our chart at the office look bad. You know, the chart that shows attendance, our arena noise...basically, the chart that shows how good our fans are...No, not the FOXNews-esque doomsday delight Commercial Appeal! It's the fans!
"Wait...Zac, the fans are the problem??"
YES! The fans are the problem.
However, the problem is two-fold.
Problem A is the people who come to the games who root for the other team. Nothing burns me up than seeing a yellow Lakers jersey, or someone whooping it up for Detroit, or shouting out to Melo and AI at the Forum. I wouldn't have a problem with Laker fans at the Forum if the Forum was the Great Western Forum and this was Showtime, but it isn't. We might be a crumbling industy sector and a largely minority-majority city, but we aren't in Detroit either. Our arena announcer doesn't have a stuttering problem. Lastly, do you see any mountains? This is not Denver either.
Most of this is said in jest. As an avid sports fan, nothing and let me REPEAT nothing really builds up a good game atmosphere than trash talk from fans of one team to the other. Of course, that's always best for the postseason, when the emotions are heightened. It just is an annoyance that a lot of fans especially at certain games aren't even at the Forum for the HOME TEAM...but the reason they stand out so much is because of problem B.
Problem B is the fans of the Grizzlies that we do have. There simply is not enough. When your arena looks like 9500 people showed up in plainclothes and the rest came disguised as empty blue chairs, even the loudest, truest Chris Farley Chicago Superfan-esque fan performance is not going to drown out the cheers from the fans that are there to support the other side. Where are the people? When I was writing for the first incarnate of Nation of Grizzlam, I wrote a blog detailing why Memphis fans felt like they didn't get respect from the media and it dealt with SMS, or "Small Market Syndrome." (Some may remember it, I may have to do it again.) While doing the research for said blog, I delivered statistics (begrudgingly, because I hate crunching any sort of numbers) of populations for every NBA market city and metropolitan area. Memphis was not even the smallest market, at roughly 1.25 million metro, adjusting for another year in census, not counting what I believe to be part of the metro area, DeSoto County. You mean to tell me that a little over 1 percent of that can't fill up a basketball stadium? Really? I know we are a college town, but face it folks, so is every other NBA market. This is the first REAL professional team this city has ever had. Noone had better comment about the MadDogs or Pharoahs, and no disrespect but the Riverkings and Redbirds are not major league caliber either. That alone should get fans in the seats. Be grateful to even have a team. I'm sure Seattle would love to have theirs back, and they had more fan support than we have had in our best year.
"Basketball games are too expensive to have as many as we do in a season. Most Memphians would be better suited for an NFL season. Expensive, but less games to go to."
Right. The Oilers sure got a lot of support while they were here. Of course, the excuse was that we knew they were leaving anyway, so why support them. It seems with a lot of people that they feel the same way about the Grizzlies. They'll leave, so why support them? That way, when they leave due to lack of support from fans like you, you will be right. Ah, sweet vindication. An NFL team in Memphis? If basketball (Professional basketball, in a self-professed "Basketball Town") can't be supported with 18,000 people, how do you tell me that 65,000+ would be? Maybe I should ask the Tigers how they like playing in front of a packed stadium for football games.
Wait...It's because they don't win right? Ah, The Golden Rule of Fandom. If they win, they will be loved and admired and paid attention to. You've got me there. The Grizzlies don't win. However, even when they did, they didn't win enough. So the support...went down the drain. Fans have every right to be dissapointed. Dissapointment is great! It means you have pride in your team and you want them to do well. I'd be more worried if people were indifferent, but people are dissapointed! Hooray! It means you care!
So why don't you care that your team, win or lose, looks pathetic when they play in front of an arena full of...empty chairs? It's silent when the home team scores at home and louder when the away team makes a basket? You want to root for the stars? Show up to the games, and be loud for your home team. Homecourt advantage = proven advantage. Build up the young guys' confidence, build up the win column. Make it look like a fun place to play and a fun place to go to. Word among fans will spread. Make it look like a loud and tough place to play, and word will spread around the L. Your team will be feared, and in free agency, dare I say revered. Players will want to come here. You will have built up your players into stars, and attract stars for you to clap for, if thats what it takes. Clap for Rudy. Clap for Mayo. Clap for Conley. Soon, who knows who you will be on your feet for in the starting lineups. Just make sure to keep the energy going, and drown out those people cheering for the other team...
Donations to the DOUCHE (Drown Out Ugly Crowd Heckling Experiment) can be made in payments of 5, 18, 37, 38, 40, 47, 48, 49, 62, 82, 99, 107, 150, 227, 307, 387, 546 & 667 dollars. All donations to DOUCHE should be made at the FedEx Forum box office on Gamedays.
Juice vs. Juice.
by Zac "I,rreverent" Carpenter
First off, big ups to our friends at Hardwood Paroxysm for the "OJ Mayo's Swagger vs. Megan Fox's Sexiness" blog. Now let's get on to the business at hand.
Clay Aiken finally came out. FINALLY.
Just kidding. Who gives a fuck about that?
Let's talk about OJ Mayo. Our rookie. Our newest face, our future star. One half of the Gay Mayo...er...Rudy and OJ duo. He just oozes style, and swagger. He's been called the next big thing...compared to Kobe...the swagger of LeBron...etc. Who could I, a measly blogger, compare OJ Mayo to that would even match the direct correlations of the former?
Simple.
O.J. Simpson.
Whatthefuck??
That's right. Name for name, baby. OJ for OJ.
I'll give you a few minutes to settle down.
Good, you're back. I can begin now.
Round One: Slashing Abilities
As you can read here due to graphic violent language, Mr. Simpson was quite proficient in his slashing abilities. He (of course, this was in his prime, so I don't believe he could do this now) was able to slash through not one, but two defenders at once with ease. Mayo likewise is a very good slasher, able to get around one, two, perhaps three or any number of defenders you throw at him. As his NBADraft.com profile indicates, he "is very confident dribbling against pressure and trapping defenses, and knows how to use his body to get to the hoop....and has a variety of moves and jerky fakes that create enough seperation for him to get his shot off."
Winner: Tie
Round Two: Court
OJ Simpson is a known narcissist, and an egotistical man, but by all accounts was somber and quiet in court. He let his teammates do the talking. OJ Mayo is humble when he is away from the court, but is a beast on it, unleashing a typhoon of swagger and arrogance, knowing that he is one of if not the best player on the court at the time. Sounds like a draw doesn't it? Alas, it is not. Our dear Mayo goes down to Simpson in this round simply because Simpson's team let him get away with murder in the court, and Mayo couldn't even get past a flopping ref.
Winner: Simpson
Round Three: Bigger Entourage
Mayo's entourage got him into trouble when an associate leaked a story about Mayo accepting gifts. Not cool, Lil' OJ. Meanwhile, Simpson, along with an entourage of his own robbed sports memorabilia from a Las Vegas hotel room and were charged with kidnapping and assault with a deadly weapon to boot. This one could go both ways. Simpson was taking things that were allegedly "his" sports memorabilia. Mayo wasn't stealing nor taking his items back, he was purchasing new items, but "illegally" according to for lack of a better word, "Collegiate Ethics." In that respect, it almost seems like yet another draw. However, Simpson's antics landed him in jail again. The edge goes to Mayo in this one.
Winner: Mayo
Overall: Mayo 1, Simpson 1, Draw
So there you have it. After research, it seems they are even. You never would have thought that, now would you? That's why we're here....to bring you the unexpected. Let's just hope Mayo is a "killer" on the court, not off the court.
***Disclaimer***
This was for entertainment purposes only. We here at NoG do not necessarily believe OJ Simpson was a murderer and or guilty of any crime. We try to stay as bipartisan and impartial to any one side in particular, even though he did it.
First off, big ups to our friends at Hardwood Paroxysm for the "OJ Mayo's Swagger vs. Megan Fox's Sexiness" blog. Now let's get on to the business at hand.
Clay Aiken finally came out. FINALLY.
Just kidding. Who gives a fuck about that?
Let's talk about OJ Mayo. Our rookie. Our newest face, our future star. One half of the Gay Mayo...er...Rudy and OJ duo. He just oozes style, and swagger. He's been called the next big thing...compared to Kobe...the swagger of LeBron...etc. Who could I, a measly blogger, compare OJ Mayo to that would even match the direct correlations of the former?
Simple.
O.J. Simpson.
Whatthefuck??
That's right. Name for name, baby. OJ for OJ.
I'll give you a few minutes to settle down.
Good, you're back. I can begin now.
Round One: Slashing Abilities
As you can read here due to graphic violent language, Mr. Simpson was quite proficient in his slashing abilities. He (of course, this was in his prime, so I don't believe he could do this now) was able to slash through not one, but two defenders at once with ease. Mayo likewise is a very good slasher, able to get around one, two, perhaps three or any number of defenders you throw at him. As his NBADraft.com profile indicates, he "is very confident dribbling against pressure and trapping defenses, and knows how to use his body to get to the hoop....and has a variety of moves and jerky fakes that create enough seperation for him to get his shot off."
Winner: Tie
Round Two: Court
OJ Simpson is a known narcissist, and an egotistical man, but by all accounts was somber and quiet in court. He let his teammates do the talking. OJ Mayo is humble when he is away from the court, but is a beast on it, unleashing a typhoon of swagger and arrogance, knowing that he is one of if not the best player on the court at the time. Sounds like a draw doesn't it? Alas, it is not. Our dear Mayo goes down to Simpson in this round simply because Simpson's team let him get away with murder in the court, and Mayo couldn't even get past a flopping ref.
Winner: Simpson
Round Three: Bigger Entourage
Mayo's entourage got him into trouble when an associate leaked a story about Mayo accepting gifts. Not cool, Lil' OJ. Meanwhile, Simpson, along with an entourage of his own robbed sports memorabilia from a Las Vegas hotel room and were charged with kidnapping and assault with a deadly weapon to boot. This one could go both ways. Simpson was taking things that were allegedly "his" sports memorabilia. Mayo wasn't stealing nor taking his items back, he was purchasing new items, but "illegally" according to for lack of a better word, "Collegiate Ethics." In that respect, it almost seems like yet another draw. However, Simpson's antics landed him in jail again. The edge goes to Mayo in this one.
Winner: Mayo
Overall: Mayo 1, Simpson 1, Draw
So there you have it. After research, it seems they are even. You never would have thought that, now would you? That's why we're here....to bring you the unexpected. Let's just hope Mayo is a "killer" on the court, not off the court.
***Disclaimer***
This was for entertainment purposes only. We here at NoG do not necessarily believe OJ Simpson was a murderer and or guilty of any crime. We try to stay as bipartisan and impartial to any one side in particular, even though he did it.
Kirk Plays Moral Orel, Results Better Than Actual TV Show.
by Kirk "Kirk Diggler" Holland
Now that the dust seems to have settled over "Mary Jane pulled the fire alarm 2008", I have had time to reflect on the situation from a fan's perspective. First off, Darrell Arthur is a young man coming off a rollercoaster of highs spanning from the national championship win over our beloved Memphis Tigers to becoming a first round draft pick (although picked later than he thought). His life has changed tremendously over the past months, and will continue to do so. He has money now, and what do young men with money do? They spend it, have fun, make questionable choices. It's a fact of life. I know we will most likely never truly know what "really" happened that fateful night in the hotel room, but worst case scenario is that he indulged in some of the Devil's lettuce, and had a lady friend over. I in no way, shape, or form condone using drugs, but in the grand scheme of things, it was not the worst thing. At least he didn't pull an Eddie Griffin. He didn't hurt anyone else. Granted, he severely pissed off the commissioner and I'm sure he embarrassed the Grizzlies organization, but this in time shall pass. Arthur can squash all murmurs and remnants of this situation by simply producing on the court. A productive player makes happy fans who tend to forgive and forget easier. If he can be the type of talent he is projected by experts to become, then will we not only forget about his lapse of judgement, but he will also become the toast of our beloved city. The moral of the story folks: don't look down on a kid for making a simple mistake; look up to him, he's taller than you.
Now that the dust seems to have settled over "Mary Jane pulled the fire alarm 2008", I have had time to reflect on the situation from a fan's perspective. First off, Darrell Arthur is a young man coming off a rollercoaster of highs spanning from the national championship win over our beloved Memphis Tigers to becoming a first round draft pick (although picked later than he thought). His life has changed tremendously over the past months, and will continue to do so. He has money now, and what do young men with money do? They spend it, have fun, make questionable choices. It's a fact of life. I know we will most likely never truly know what "really" happened that fateful night in the hotel room, but worst case scenario is that he indulged in some of the Devil's lettuce, and had a lady friend over. I in no way, shape, or form condone using drugs, but in the grand scheme of things, it was not the worst thing. At least he didn't pull an Eddie Griffin. He didn't hurt anyone else. Granted, he severely pissed off the commissioner and I'm sure he embarrassed the Grizzlies organization, but this in time shall pass. Arthur can squash all murmurs and remnants of this situation by simply producing on the court. A productive player makes happy fans who tend to forgive and forget easier. If he can be the type of talent he is projected by experts to become, then will we not only forget about his lapse of judgement, but he will also become the toast of our beloved city. The moral of the story folks: don't look down on a kid for making a simple mistake; look up to him, he's taller than you.
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